


Spelunk

by EnthusiasticFish



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29933823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnthusiasticFish/pseuds/EnthusiasticFish
Summary: Tim finds himself confronting a deep-seated fear after an accident leaves him trapped.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Spelunk  
** by Enthusiastic Fish

**Chapter 1**

"I'm not scared," Tim said to himself. "I'm not scared."

He coughed in the dust that was still lingering in the air. Then, he looked at the flashlight lying just out of his reach. When he had tried to reach it once, he had only managed to knock it further away.

At least it was on.

"I'm not scared," he said again. "I'm afraid of heights. I'm not afraid of..." He took a deep breath. "I'm not afraid of being in here."

It felt so close and empty.

At first, he had tried to shout to Tony, hoping that he'd hear some kind of answer, but there had been nothing.

"Are the batteries new? I don't remember if I checked," he said aloud.

Speaking aloud made it seem like he wasn't so alone.

Tentatively, he shifted his weight to see if anything had changed from the last time he'd checked.

He gritted his teeth against the pain.

Nope. Nothing had changed.

It was so quiet.

"Why did I just wander in here? What an idiot," he said aloud. "Tony was coming behind me. What sense does it make to go off by myself into a space like this?"

He was trying not to say the word. Saying the word conjured up images from his childhood, from reading _Tom Sawyer_ in school...from the horror he'd felt when they had found Injun Joe.

In the cave.

"No. Don't think about that. It's a silly kid's story and Injun Joe was the villain. No reason to freak out, Tim. Stop being stupid."

He stretched out his hand, trying to get to the flashlight again.

He scrabbled against the pebbles on the ground, trying to wriggle his body forward. He stretched and stretched, pushing with his one free leg against the rock pile that had buried his other leg. If his ankle wasn't completely broken by this, it would be a miracle.

"Come on! Closer!" he said in the suffocating silence.

He tried to ignore the pain in his leg and stretch far enough to get to the flashlight that mocked him.

Seconds of stretching expanded to minutes. One single finger could barely touch it.

"If I can just get the right angle," he muttered.

His body was stretched as far as it could be, and he could feel the pain of his trapped leg, but he _really_ wanted that flashlight in his control. Tentatively, he tried to move the flashlight his direction.

It began to roll away.

"No, no, no, no, no," Tim said, feeling the panic. "No, don't roll away!"

He sighed with relief as the flashlight stopped...but now, it was facing away from him.

His surroundings seemed much darker now. He sighed and let himself fall back to the ground.

It was definitely out of his reach now.

Tim lay on his side, breathing heavily. Some of it was from the pain he'd inflicted on himself by trying to get the flashlight. Some of it was because he was trying not to panic at the fact that he was stuck.

He'd been avoiding looking at what was trapping him where he was. Now, with the flashlight permanently out of reach and the changed angle of light casting disturbing shadows, Tim forced himself to look back.

Looming over him was a pile of rocks. When this had first happened, he had thought he would be able to dig himself out, at least to free his foot, but that wasn't coming to pass. One little shift had told him that there was more than a pile of rocks on his leg. He had been knocked out briefly by the collapse of the ceiling; so he didn't really remember what had happened, but he had realized that his foot was actually in a hole. When he tried to move it, he found that it was wedged...and extremely painful. In order to get it out, he would have to be able to move every single rock, and he had no guarantee that there weren't more just waiting to fall.

"I'm stuck," he said aloud. "I'm stuck...in a...cave."

Saying the word aloud made his stomach churn.

He felt so alone. He didn't know how long it would last. Surely, Tony would be getting help. Surely, he wouldn't leave Tim alone.

...so long as he hadn't been caught in the same collapse.

Panic briefly overwhelmed him, and Tim began pounding on the rocks trapping him in the cave. He shouted at the rocks and then fell back when more began to fall from the ceiling. He tried to protect his head, but the sprinkling of small rocks became a secondary rock fall.

As the rocks fell, Tim hoped he wasn't going to be completely buried this time.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Tim! Can you hear me? Tim!"

Tony listened for any response, but he didn't hear anything. He stared at the rocks that were settling. They had filled the entire space. Where had they come from? This didn't look like a simple cave fall. Tim had only been about ten feet ahead of him.

"Tim!"

He tried to move some rocks out of the way, but every rock he shifted was replaced by at least two or three more. For a long moment, he stared at the rocks. What was the best thing to do? Should he try to clear away the rocks himself or should he go and get help?

"Tim, can you hear me? Are you in there?"

He listened.

Still nothing.

Finally, he decided he needed more help to do this and he ran out of the cave, hoping against hope that he wasn't abandoning his friend.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

The rocks stopped falling and Tim lay where he was, a bit more battered, but not buried.

He lay there for a few minutes, trembling. He was really trying not to panic again. That hadn't gone so well. He coughed in the new dust and breathed deeply, trying to calm down.

It was quiet again. The solitude was pressing in on him, making him wish for _anyone_ to be there. Anyone at all.

"Help," he whispered. "Help, please."

At this point, it wasn't even the pain in his leg, although that was pretty bad. It was being alone that was getting to him. It was not knowing if anyone would find him before it was too late. It was not knowing if Tony had seen what happened and had been able to get help.

It was being alone that terrified him beyond measure.

Tim closed his eyes and began to breathe more quickly, trying not to panic, but panicking all the same. He couldn't relax. He couldn't calm down, not really. ...and he had no idea how long he'd been stuck in here.

In the cave.

It had been days before Injun Joe had been found...dead. Starved to death, sealed inside the cave.

Days.

Alone.

Wandering...looking for a way out and finding nothing.

Tim clenched his hands into tight fists, trying not to let the panic take over his brain again. He almost wished for the unbearable pain he'd first felt from his leg. Now, it was a constant throbbing that didn't go away, but wasn't making him want to tear his leg off.

What if he _was_ stuck here for a lot longer?

"Should I just pull until my leg comes free...or my foot breaks off?"

That was gross to think about, but it might become part of his future if no one showed up to help him. He could easily become that desperate.

The ground was rock, not dirt. The rocks were wedged tightly together. Tim had seen the danger of moving rocks. It seemed that there was no end to the rocks that could fall on him. As much as he hated his current position, he didn't want to be buried any more than he already was.

It was so quiet.

Worse. The flashlight began to dim.

"No. No, please, don't go out," Tim said. "Please don't go out."

But it did continue to dim. Dimmer and dimmer until it was almost completely dark. Only a faint orange glow kept it from being totally black. Tim felt his heart rate increase the dimmer the light was.

"At least, I can breathe," Tim whispered. "I can breathe. I'm alive. I'm not scared of the dark."

Another long silence.

"I'm terrified."

He didn't know how long he lay there, feeling his throbbing leg, doing nothing.

Nothing broke the silence. Nothing broke the darkness.

Alone.

He lay there in a panic so deep that he couldn't even move.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"We can't leave him in there! It's already been nearly a day!" Tony said.

"Agent DiNozzo, if we do this wrong and Agent McGee is alive in there, we could bring the whole mountain down on him. If we do it right, he gets out in a few more hours."

Tony looked back at the cave entrance where there were now a number of people carrying equipment in. There had been way too much talking and way too little actual moving of rocks.

"We'll get him out, Agent DiNozzo...but we're going to do it right."

Tony looked at Gibbs and Ellie who were both here now, waiting to see them get Tim out.

"He was...ten feet ahead of me, Boss. That's all!"

"You said that already, Tony. It's not your fault."

"Feels like it is," Tony muttered. "What if he's dead in there? We haven't had any response from him."

"We don't know how far the rock fall goes," Ellie said. "Once it started, he would have tried to get as far away as possible."

"We just have to wait. They're going to start now."

Tony hated waiting.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

The rocks started to shift, grinding against his leg. The resulting pain made Tim scream for the first time. Tears leaked from his eyes as he sat up and tried to pull back from the rock pile.

It didn't work. It just hurt more.

The rocks continued to shift.

"Stop!" he shouted as loudly as he could.

The shifting stopped.

Then...faintly.

" _Tim?"_

The voice was too muffled for him to tell who it was.

"Help!" he screamed.

" _Tim! We hear you!"_

"Stop moving the rocks!" he shouted.

There was silence. Silence. Horrible, deadly silence. Black and silent. He felt his heart start to pound even faster until it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest.

The silence kept on.

His leg hurt a lot more now than it had before. He tried to pull it out again, but all that did was make it hurt even more.

Time passed. It seemed interminable...and silent. Tears escaped from his eyes, even though he didn't want them to. He tried to hold them back as the time got longer and longer.

...but then, there was noise.

A few rocks tumbled down and bounced harmlessly off his arm. It let in a little bit of light. Not enough to see by, but more than he'd had. Tim was thrilled.

"Tim? Are you in there?"

"Tony?" Tim asked.

"Tim! Where are you?"

"On the ground," Tim said, trying to sound like he hadn't been ready to sob just moments before.

"Where?"

"My...l-leg is pinned under the rocks," he said. "I can't get away from the pile. I'm stuck."

"Oh. Okay. We'll get you out, Tim. Don't worry."

Then...silence.

"T-Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't go away, okay?"

"Okay, Tim. No worries. As soon as we can, we'll get you out."

"Why not now?"

"There are too many rocks and we don't want to bury the rest of you by moving the pile. They need to be careful."

"Okay."

Tim tried not to be afraid. He shouldn't be afraid. They were getting him out. That was what he wanted. No reason to be scared now. No reason at all.

So...why was he still ready to freak out?

Silence.

"Tony?"

"Still here, Tim. They're starting to move the rocks. Gibbs and Ellie are out here, too."

"G-Great. Could you...tell Gibbs that...I don't think I'll be on field duty for a while?"

"Oh, come on, McGee. You're going to let a little rock fall knock you off your feet?"

"Already has," Tim said, trying to sound like he was just inconvenienced, not scared out of his mind.

"I suppose so."

Silence again. It wasn't light enough for Tim to see anything. It was too quiet.

"Keep talking, Tony."

"Sure thing, Tim. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything." Tim couldn't admit that he didn't want the silence. So he lied. "Just to distract me from my leg. It hurts. A lot."

"Okay. I guess you don't want any comments about spelunking?"

"About what?"

"Exploring caves."

"Oh. No, please."

"Okay. Oh...hang on a minute, Tim."

"What?"

No response.

"Tony?"

Nothing. Tim tried to keep himself from panicking again. He closed his eyes and started breathing heavily again.

Then, there was noise. Distant, unfamiliar noise. More rocks began to tumble down the pile. Not big ones but they were letting more light in.

Rocks tumbled down and then, there was a large shape blocking out all the light.

"I can see him!"

The shape withdrew.

"Hello?" Tim asked, almost pleading for a response.

Then, the shape was back and approaching him.

"Hey, McGee. How's it going?"

Tim couldn't discern any of Tony's features, but he could recognize his voice.

"Hey, Tony. ...I've been better."

"Yeah, looks like it. They need to get the rocks moved, but they want to try and make it so they don't crush your leg any more than it already is."

"Sounds good...but I'd really like to get out of here," Tim said, feeling himself start to shake.

"Yeah, I don't blame you, but we need to take our time so that everything goes right."

"Already went wrong."

"That's why we need to get it right this time."

"How long?" Tim asked.

"I don't know, but we're getting you out."

"Good."

Tim tried to stay still, tried to stay calm. Other people came into the dark space. They fiddled around with the rocks. All Tim did was focus on not acting like a complete wimp. Certainly, he didn't want anyone to know that what really bothered him was not his leg (although that _really_ hurt), but rather being left alone in the dark. He could hear Tony talking and that was good. He didn't care what Tony was saying. He just cared that he was there and not leaving Tim in the oppressive silence.

"Agent McGee, we're going to try prying up the rocks over your leg. We've got a brace rigged up, and we'll do the best we can to keep from making you hurt any more."

"Fine," Tim said.

There was more fiddling around. Tim just waited.

Then, after an unknown length of time, he felt the pressure on his leg ease just a bit.

"Just hang on, Agent McGee. We're getting there."

"Come on, hurry up," Tony said.

Tim realized that, at some point, he had started holding Tony's hand...which was weird. He wondered when that had happened because he didn't remember it at all.

"Stay with us, Tim."

"Huh?"

"No more drifting off, okay?"

"I didn't know I h-had."

"You did. Don't do it again, got it?"

"Sure, okay. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"I haven't."

"Okay. Good."

Another easing of the pressure and, for some odd reason, that seemed to make it hurt more.

"Almost there."

"Good."

Someone propped him up at some point and gave him water. Tim accepted that as a good thing.

"Oh, I see the problem. His foot got wedged in a hole. No wonder he couldn't move it at all. Agent McGee, this is going to hurt."

"Big s-surprise," Tim said.

Then, Tim found out that, no matter how much pain he'd felt before, it was nothing to what he _could_ feel. It wrung another scream out of him, and he'd been trying so hard to be stoic.

"It's all right, Tim. They're almost done. Hurry it up, will you?"

"Okay. Move him. Slowly. Very slowly."

Tim heard Tony swear. For some reason, that made him laugh.

"You're out, Tim."

"I'm still i-in th-the c-c-cave," Tim said, annoyed that his voice wasn't working right.

"Not for long."

"P-P-Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay."

Then, he was being moved. Then, he was being strapped onto something hard and flat. Then, he was being moved again. Then, he could see more light.

That was a good thing.

"Agent McGee, we're going to get you to the hospital as soon as we can."

"Okay."

Then, he was moving again.

"You're going to be just fine, Agent McGee."

"See you at the hospital, Tim."

"O-Okay...T-Tony." Tim hadn't realized that Tony was going to be gone.

...but when he was in the ambulance, there was still someone there.

But it was too quiet, even with the siren.

"C-Can you talk?" Tim asked the other person in the room.

"What was that, Agent McGee?"

"It's...too quiet," Tim said, thinking he'd managed to keep his fear out of his voice.

"Okay."

There was a comforting wash of words that carried him to the hospital. Then, he was moving again. Then, he was in a room with a lot of people. A doctor was saying something about his foot and his leg. He nodded when he was asked a question, although he hadn't heard what was being said. It was just a wash of words that he was supposed to agree with...so he did.

Then, he was moving yet again. Then, there was something happening and he was starting to fade into darkness.

"N-N-No...not...back in...the dark," he mumbled.

"You're just falling asleep, Agent McGee. When you wake up, you'll be in a hospital room, not the cave."

Tim tried to resist the darkness and the silence, but he couldn't.

He fell into black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Tony sighed with relief as the ambulance pulled away.

"Man, Boss... That was...bad."

"Bad, how?" Ellie asked. "Worse than him being trapped in a cave under a pile of rocks for a day and a half?"

"Yeah, worse than that, Ellie."

"How?"

"He was so...afraid. Every word he said was... He was terrified. He was in a lot of pain, but more than anything...he was just terrified. He kept disconnecting and he kept asking for me to talk. Over and over, he asked that. Oh, man." He rubbed his hand over his head.

"Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs looked away from Tony and to the local LEO who had come to help.

"What is it?"

"I think you should see this."

"What?"

"That wasn't a normal cave collapse. Not even close."

Gibbs looked at Tony and Ellie and they all followed him back to the cave. The LEO led them to the rock pile.

"These rocks aren't native to this cave. They're native to the area, but not in here. And then...there's wood. In the pile."

"Meaning?"

"This was a booby-trap. An old one, unless I miss my guess. I think that, when we clear all these rocks out, we'll find a trip line or something that will show how Agent McGee triggered it. It was probably a one-in-a-million chance that he set it off."

"Lucky Tim," Tony said grimly.

"Yeah...but the real luck is that he didn't get killed by this. There was some prospecting that happened in this area back in the 1800s. Some people got pretty possessive of their claims."

Tony shook his head and sighed.

"Why were you guys here, anyway?"

"Checking out a tip. Tim was going to check out the cave. We hadn't even planned on going in very far, just enough to see where there was to go. Tim was ahead of me and...and I had to stop to change the batteries in my flashlight."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

" _Wait up, McGee!"_

_Tim looked back and laughed._

" _Scared of the cave, Tony?" he asked._

" _No, but I do want to have light."_

" _Me, too. I've got my light."_

_Tim flicked his flashlight on and shined it at Tony's face. Then, he headed in. Tony quickly got his batteries replaced and started for the entrance._

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"And then, the cave was falling in. I heard Tim shout something, but then, nothing."

"You want to get to the hospital, that's fine by me. We'll keep cleaning up and documenting what we're doing."

Tony looked at Gibbs.

"All right. We'll go and check on McGee and then, Ellie and I will come back to help."

They headed to the hospital.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Agent McGee is in surgery. There was a lot of damage in his ankle and lower leg. They needed to do some internal fixation, and there was some indications of compartment syndrome."

Tony's expression was blank. The nurse smiled sympathetically.

"When part of the body experiences a reduction in circulation for long periods of time, it can cause a lot of damage if they don't address it. Pressure builds up in that area and can cause permanent damage if they miss it. Also, they have to worry about infection. So it's serious, but they should be done in an hour or so if you want to wait. It'll take some time before he's out of recovery."

"Agent DiNozzo will wait and let us know," Gibbs said.

"Okay. I'll make sure someone lets you know when you can go back."

"Thanks."

"Ellie and I will go back to the scene. You wait here."

"Will do."

"But _call_ us when you know," Ellie said. "Okay? Call!"

"I'll call."

"Good."

Tony watched them go and then sat down on a chair to wait. As he waited he couldn't help but remember how tense Tim had been. He hadn't been able to do anything, but at one point, Tim had suddenly sucked in a deep breath and then started hyperventilating. Tony had reached out to calm him down and Tim had grabbed his hand, whispering something about not being alone in the dark. Seeing his crushed foot had been bad, disgusting, actually...but it was nothing compared to Tim's terror.

The sooner he saw Tim not looking like he was a step away from a meltdown, the better.

"Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony stood up.

"Agent McGee is starting to wake up, but he seems bothered about something. I think a familiar voice might help calm him down."

"Okay."

As he walked back to recovery with the nurse, he wondered what had Tim upset now? Was it just coming out of anesthesia?

"Did the surgery go okay?" he asked.

"Yes. Agent McGee has a long way to go before he's fully recovered, but they were able to set the bones and repair the damage...so far. It remains to be seen if there was nerve damage in addition to the broken bones and tendons."

Tony nodded, wincing in sympathy. There was no reason to expect anything other than a long recovery period after what had happened, but he was sure Tim would hate being held back by it.

Tim was only barely awake in the bed, but he was trying to open his eyes and he did seem more than a little distressed.

"Hey, Tim. Calm down. You don't have to do anything but relax."

Tim mumbled something incomprehensible. Clearly, he wasn't fully out of the anesthesia. At the nurse's gesture, he sat down by Tim and put his hand on Tim's shoulder.

"Hey, Probie, it's okay. Surgery went fine and you just have to wait for your leg to heal now."

Tim kept mumbling incoherently and so Tony kept talking to him until he slipped back into sleep.

"Thank you, Agent DiNozzo. Would you mind staying with him until he wakes up completely? I think it'll help."

"Of course not. Sure, I'll stay."

"Thank you."

Tony sat beside Tim in recovery and then, when they moved him into a regular room, he went with him and stayed there. He called Gibbs and let him know that Tim was out of surgery but a little disoriented and then he sat and waited for Tim to wake up.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim suddenly realized he was in darkness. Alone. It was too quiet. So quiet. Silent.

Frightening.

He'd had that hallucination of getting out of the cave, but clearly he was back in it. The flashlight had gone out completely and he was stuck in the dark, alone. He started to pull at his trapped leg.

"Hey, hey, Tim. Calm down!"

Tim couldn't help it. He let out a whimper. He wasn't able to move at all now.

"I'm right here. You're okay. But you need to stop moving around. You're going to hurt yourself."

He knew that voice. "T-Tony?"

"Yeah."

"I can't see you."

"That's because your eyes are closed, Probie."

Tim realized that, yes, his eyes were closed and he felt really stupid. He opened them and had to blink more than a little at the bright light all around him. After a few seconds, his eyes started adjusting to the light and he could see more details.

Like Tony, standing over him, smiling like usual.

"Better?" Tony asked.

"I'm not in the cave," he said.

"No. You're not. You're in the next worst thing: a hospital."

"It wasn't a dream."

"No. It wasn't a dream, Tim."

Tim took a deep breath and sternly told himself to stop being stupid.

"What happened? I mean...with my leg."

"They had to put in some plates and stuff to fix the bones. You'll be in a cast for a while. It'll take some physical therapy and stuff, and then, you'll be back to normal."

"How long?" Tim asked.

"It might be a few months before you're ready to start running again, Tim."

"Months?"

"Yeah...but as soon as you're up to it, you can come back to NCIS and be on desk duty!"

Tim nodded, but in his head, he'd started thinking about all that time alone...waiting to be back at work...alone with no company. In all that silence.

"Hey, Tim...you all right?"

"Sure...yeah. Except for, you know, the screws and stuff in my leg," Tim said, forcing a smile.

"So...head's all screwed on straight?"

"It wasn't before?"

"Not quite. You were acting a little weird, but you were stuck in a rock pile. So I think you're forgiven."

"Thanks. Yeah, I think so." He looked at his casted leg. "How long will I be in the hospital...do you know?"

"No, I don't, but now that you're thinking straight again, I'll get back to the cave and we'll figure out what happened."

"You're going?" Tim asked, feeling terrified at the prospect.

"Yeah. Unless you need me to do something."

Tim felt too embarrassed to admit that he was still scared of being alone. He shook his head.

"No. Just...jealous."

Tony furrowed his brow.

"You sure, Tim? I _can_ stay if..."

"No. That's... It's fine, Tony. I just don't want to be stuck in a hospital bed doing nothing." Hearing nothing. Seeing no one.

"I don't blame you, Tim. We'll come by and visit tonight."

"Okay. See you later, then," Tim said.

Tony smiled and left the room. As soon as he was alone, Tim felt himself starting to get afraid again. He tried not to start panicking. Even with the clicks and hums of the hospital, it was too quiet.

Then, just before he freaked out, the door to his room opened and a medical-looking person came in.

"Agent McGee, good to see you awake. Agent DiNozzo told me that you'd rejoined us."

Tim nodded. He didn't think he could speak without his voice shaking.

"Good. Now, given the length of time you were stuck in the cave..."

"How long was it?" Tim asked, realizing suddenly that he had no idea.

"A little over a day. It could have been worse, but your ankle was badly broken. There were some crushing injuries and we want to make sure that nothing goes wrong before we send you home. Also, we checked for any head injury and in spite of that large knot on your head, you seem to have come out of it all right. The biggest issue is, of course, your ankle. It could take a long time before you're fully recovered, but in a few months, you'll be walking around and maybe even running some."

"Some?" Tim asked.

"Yes. We don't want to risk a relapse by having you put too much pressure on it too early."

"No. We don't."

The doctor smiled.

"So, all you need to do is relax for the next day or two, Agent McGee. Staff will be in and out to check on your progress, but you'll have the room all to yourself for now. We don't have many other patients at the moment."

Tim knew that was supposed to be a good thing, but he wanted nothing less. Still, he gave the expected nod and watched the doctor leave.

Then, the silence descended once more. Tim was ready to panic, but he saw the remote control. With desperation, he grabbed for it and turned on the TV. He couldn't get any channels except QVC and ZNN, but he didn't care. All he wanted was sound. Anything to distract him from the fact that he was alone.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

The team visited him. His family came and visited. Tim was in the hospital for two days. He had a prescription for antibiotics to help fight infection. He had scheduled visits so they could check his leg. It would be six weeks before he would be able to start the real physical therapy. Until then, he was stuck on crutches, not allowed to put _any_ weight on his leg.

He pretended to be bothered by the limits his injury put on him whenever anyone asked him about how he was doing. He didn't tell them how much he hated being alone in his apartment. He didn't say anything about the feeling of oppression he felt whenever he was left with only the silence.

He hated going to sleep because, all too often, he dreamed of the silence and darkness. He couldn't sleep with the lights off. He couldn't sleep with the silence. He had the TV on whenever he was at home. Not even his record collection was any help because there were no words, just music.

Even a return to NCIS wasn't enough because there were times when he was alone. The only reason no one noticed was because Tim could always find someone and have an excuse for talking to them. He was bored. He needed to get up and around. He needed a break from staring at the computer screen. They were believable. No one thought twice about it.

But, for Tim, his life had been distilled down to a fear of being alone when he was home and a fear of someone realizing what a wimp he was when he was at work.

All in all, he felt awful most of the time and he just hoped it would resolve itself...when his ankle was better. That was all he needed. He just needed to heal and then, he'd be fine.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_One month later..._

"You're getting pretty good on those crutches, Agent McGee," Henry said as he passed Tim in.

"I hate them," Tim said. "I can't wait until I can do something more than hobble around."

"Well, no one will fault you for using the elevator."

Tim forced a smile, not willing to reveal that he hated taking the elevator. Thankfully, it was a short ride.

He crutched over to the elevator and got on. It began to rise. Tim counted the seconds. He knew how long it took.

...and then, the elevator lights flickered.

Tim looked around apprehensively.

"No. Keep going. You're almost there."

The elevator didn't listen to him. It jolted to a stop and the emergency lights came on.

He was trapped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Tony pushed the button.

"Looks like it's not working, Agent DiNozzo," Henry said.

"Great. I hate taking the stairs."

"It's only one floor. I think you can handle it."

Tony laughed.

"I know. I guess I'll put in a call to maintenance...unless Gibbs is in there having a conference."

"Better wait and check it out, first. You can ask Agent McGee. He got here about half an hour ago. It was working, then."

"Really? I'm here early. Why was he here so soon?"

"It's about the time he's been here every day."

"Huh. Interesting."

"You can ask him about it."

"I will."

Tony ran up the stairs to the bullpen.

"Hey, McGee!"

He stopped. Tim wasn't there. Henry wouldn't have got that wrong, but Tim's bag wasn't there, either.

He pulled out his phone and called.

The phone rang and rang with no answer. He called again.

Then, there was a pickup...but no voice.

"Hey, McGee?"

Nothing.

"Tim?"

" _Tony..."_

"Hey, Tim. What's wrong?"

" _I'm...stuck...in the elevator. It's not moving. I can't get it to start moving. It's not moving, Tony!"_

Tim sounded absolutely freaked out...which was really weird considering he was just in the elevator.

"Okay. I'll call maintenance. Don't worry. It'll just take a minute."

" _No. Don't hang up, Tony."_

"Why not?"

" _Please...don't leave me alone in here. Please."_

"Tim, what's going on? You're just in the elevator. You've been in there lots of times."

" _Don't leave me alone in here."_

Tim sounded terrified.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay on the phone and...uh..."

Ellie came up the stairs.

"Is Gibbs in the elevator?" she asked.

"Ah, Probie!" Tony said. "Ellie will call maintenance and tell them that the elevator isn't working and that you're in there."

"Who's in the elevator?" Ellie asked.

"Tim is and he's freaked out about it," Tony said in a low voice. "Get them on it."

"Why didn't _he_ just call?"

"Because. Just do it, Probie!"

"Okay, okay."

Ellie called maintenance.

"They're on their way, Tim."

" _Don't hang up, Tony. Don't leave me in here alone."_

"I said I wouldn't, and I won't. What's the problem?"

" _I don't want to be alone."_

Tim's voice was so shaky, that Tony felt like he should be facing down death, not stuck in an elevator in NCIS headquarters.

"Tim, you're not alone. You're in the elevator. You're probably about ten feet away from us."

" _I don't want to be alone,"_ Tim said, sounding like he was almost in tears. _"Don't stop talking to me, okay?"_

That reminded him of something... What was it?

Wait, that was what Tim had asked him to do when he was stuck in the cave. More than a month ago.

"Tim, you're not in the cave. You're just in the elevator."

" _I know. Don't leave me here alone. It's...too quiet. I don't want to be alone in here."_

Then, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Tim was standing there, in the middle of the elevator, his face was white and he had a white-knuckle grip on one of his crutches. The other was on the floor, and Tim's other hand was tightly jamming his phone against his ear. Tony and Ellie exchanged looks and then, Tony walked forward and grabbed Tim's arm. Tim looked at him and started to sob.

Tony had no idea what was going on, but he just grabbed Tim and pulled him out of the elevator.

"Ellie, grab his other crutch."

Ellie nodded and grabbed it as fast as she could while Tony helped Tim to his desk. He pushed Tim down onto his chair.

"Go get Ducky," he said.

Ellie just nodded mutely and hurried down to Autopsy. Yes, they could just call him up, but Tony was hoping that Tim would mostly snap out of it in the time it took Ellie to get down there and back.

"Tim, talk to me. What's going on with you?"

Tim didn't answer. He was still crying. It was so weird to see Tim cry. He didn't cry. Not ever that Tony could remember. It took a few seconds, but Tim did calm down.

"Tim. Say something."

"I...dropped one of my crutches," he said softly, not looking at Tony.

"Ellie got it."

"Okay."

"Say something else," Tony said.

"I feel a little lightheaded."

"With the way you look, I'm not surprised. You want to explain what happened in there?"

"No."

Tony laughed a little.

"Okay. Do it anyway. You've been in the elevator when it's been stopped lots of times. If you weren't thinking you were back in the cave, what happened?"

"I...I didn't..."

Then, the elevator dinged, revealing Ducky and Ellie.

"What happened?" Ducky asked.

"McGee was just about to tell me."

"The elevator broke down," Tim said, still in the same soft voice. His hands were sitting in his lap, and he was almost motionless.

"That's unfortunate, but Timothy, what happened to you?"

"I felt a little dizzy," Tim said. "Lost my balance."

Tony was surprised at the outright lie Tim had just told.

"It's more than that, Timothy. I can see it just by looking at the pallor of your skin."

Tim still hadn't looked up...but he finally lifted his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just...I freaked a bit. It was like being...in the cave again, and I freaked out. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

Ducky smiled.

"Nothing to be sorry about, lad. That kind of reaction is to be expected to some degree after the kind of experience you had. Are you feeling better?"

Tim nodded. "Yeah. I just...freaked out."

"Good. I can see more color in your cheeks already. Don't worry about it. If you have trouble, you can always come and speak to me. I've told you that before."

Tim smiled a little and nodded.

Tony wasn't sure why, but he was sure that Tim was lying to Ducky about what had happened...especially when he'd already admitted that he knew he wasn't in the cave before. Still, he decided to let Tim have a respite from all the attention. He was probably embarrassed.

Ducky was headed back down to Autopsy, and Tony decided to run his thoughts by Ducky before implementing the idea that was slowly taking shape in his head.

"Hey, Ducky, wait for me!" he said.

"Yes, Anthony?"

Tony kept Ducky moving and got him onto the elevator. Once the doors were closed, he sent it down to Autopsy.

"What's wrong?" Ducky asked.

"I think Tim was lying."

"Yes, as do I."

"You do?"

Ducky smiled. "Yes. His fear was out of proportion to the situation, but I don't believe it was that he forgot where he was."

"Then, why did you accept it?"

"Because Timothy isn't wanting to talk about it. Whatever his debriefing covered, it clearly wasn't enough. I've been hoping that he would talk about whatever has been bothering him since his return to work, but all my attempts have come to nothing."

"That long?" Tony asked.

"Yes. I believe that something is not right, but...well, he has the right to keep it to himself if he wishes. I've spoken to Jethro about it as well, and he agrees...so long as Timothy doesn't appear to be endangering himself or falling down on his work."

"Do you have any idea what it is?" Tony asked.

The elevator doors opened and they walked toward Autopsy.

"Only that it certainly must be related to his time spent trapped in that cave. But the exact cause? No, I don't know for sure."

"He was kind of acting like he did in the cave when he was stuck in the elevator, but...but he said he knew he wasn't in the cave. ...so I wanted to ask your opinion."

Ducky smiled.

"Yes?"

"Do you think Tim might tell me what's going on if I asked him in private?"

"He may. I can't tell you positively. It could simply be that he's having some lingering anxiety as a result of his injury and he needs time to adjust. It is common after trauma. Usually, it resolves itself. Given that you're the one who was his connection to the outside world when he was trapped before, you may have more success than I."

"Okay. I'll try."

"Good luck."

Tony laughed. "Thanks, Ducky."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Hey, McGee, you want a ride home?" Tony asked.

Tim looked around his monitor at Tony. He was surprised. Tony didn't live anywhere near him. ...but not having to pay for a taxi was nice.

"Oh...sure. Thanks."

He got up and grabbed his bag.

"I got that, Tim. You just get yourself," Tony said.

Tim hesitated and then handed Tony his bag.

"Okay."

He got his crutches and started hobbling behind Tony. He wasn't really excited about going home. He usually spent a few hours telling himself that the sound from the TV was enough. Then, he could sometimes sleep with the light off, but most of the time, he spent the entire night sleeping with the lights and TV on.

Tony drove him home and helped him up to his apartment.

"Thanks, Tony," Tim said again.

"No problem."

"And I'm sorry I was so stupid this morning."

"You want to talk about it?" Tony asked.

Tim looked at him in surprise.

"We already did."

"Yeah, and you lied."

Tim looked down and away. Then, he hobbled into his living room.

"Thanks for the ride, Tony."

"No problem, Tim," Tony said. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

The door closed. The silence descended, that silence that heralded complete isolation. Tim felt himself tense up and he headed for the bedroom to turn on his TV. After what happened this morning...

He was halfway there when there was a knock at the door. He stopped. Possible short-term company that would be real people, i.e. he wouldn't be alone for a few minutes, or the TV that wasn't usually enough but would at least give him consistent sound?

Another knock.

Human contact trumped mere sound.

He crutched to the door and looked through the hole. Then, he furrowed his brow and opened the door.

"Ha!" Tony said.

"Ha...what?" Tim asked, trying to hide his relief at having company.

"The expression on your face, Tim. It's been less than a minute and you're already freaked out. Why?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"So...if I were to leave again, you wouldn't have any problem with it?"

Tim swallowed.

"I see that, Tim!" Tony said instantly. "I can see that something is wrong! What is it?"

Tim sighed and crutched to a chair so that he could sit down.

"It's nothing," he said. "Or at least it should be nothing."

"What do you mean?" Tony asked. He closed the door and walked over.

"I didn't want... It'll go away. Eventually, it will go away," Tim said, trying to convince himself.

"What will?" Tony asked.

Tim looked at his leg.

"Maybe when I can start walking again, when I'm not stuck with these crutches all the time."

"What, Tim?"

"I...I don't...want to be alone," Tim said finally, staring at the floor instead of at Tony. This was so embarrassing. "When I was in the cave, I...I didn't... It was so quiet, and I was... And the flashlight rolled away. And then it went out. It was dark. Silent. No one was there. I didn't know if you'd been caught, too. I felt like I was going to die there...because I was alone. And it was always so quiet. And when I heard something, people were there. It meant that I could...maybe get out. It felt like I'd been there forever. My leg hurt. I couldn't move...unless I ended up having to tear my leg off to get away. Alone, I could die. With people there, I was going to be okay. And...and then...when it's so quiet..." He stopped because his throat had tightened up again and he had no intention of crying twice in one day.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It'll go away," Tim whispered. "Until it does, I can...deal with it."

"How?"

"I keep the TV on. So it's not so quiet in here. Sometimes, I leave the lights on. Once I'm better, it won't be a problem. It's just...for now."

"And when will you be _better_ , Tim?" Tony asked. "It could take a year for everything to be back to normal. Are you really going to wait that long? Are you going to freak out every time you're unexpectedly alone?"

"I hope not," Tim said, trying to smile...at the floor.

"I'm not the kind of guy who says you should talk to people every time you have trouble, but this seems like something you could get help with."

"But then...I'd have to say that there's a problem."

"Well, since there is, that's exactly what you _should_ do."

Tim forced himself to look up.

"I kept telling myself I wasn't scared."

"Of being trapped in a cave? Anyone would have been scared."

"All I could think about was... Tom Sawyer."

"What? I'm not following that at all."

"Injun Joe got trapped in the cave when they sealed it up. He starved to death."

"That's just a kid's story."

"I always hated that scene. Gave me nightmares as a kid. He was the bad guy, but still...starving to death, alone in the dark. No way out. What a terrible way to die."

The chair scooted along the floor and Tony sat next to Tim.

"Well, you didn't die."

"Yeah, I know. My ankle's broken, though. My foot got pretty crushed and I'm going to be trying to get better from this for ages...and all because some stupid prospector booby-trapped his stupid claim a hundred years ago." Tim looked at his leg again. "It's so stupid. And then, on top of that, I can't get a stupid scene from a stupid book out of my stupid head."

Tony laughed. "That's a lot of stupid coming from a really smart person."

Tim sighed. "I feel normal as long as someone is around, but...when I'm alone... All I can think about is what happened the last time I was alone."

His ankle didn't like being in this position for a long time, and it started to throb. He forced himself to his feet (or rather his _foot_ ), grabbed his crutches and started for the bedroom.

"Tony, you don't have to do anything. This will go away when..."

"Yeah, when, McGee?" Tony asked, following him back. "It's been over a month and you had a meltdown because the elevator stopped for a few minutes."

"Yeah, I know." Tim sat on his bed and let his crutches fall onto the floor. "I just want it to be normal, and I can't because I keep getting scared when it's too quiet...when I'm alone."

"You know, Tim...that's okay."

Tim raised an eyebrow as he propped his ankle up on the bed. "Yeah...as long as it's not you. Or are you going to try to pretend that you would be any more open about it than I've been if it had been you."

Tony smiled and helped Tim get arranged on his bed. "No, I wouldn't, but if someone came to me and told me I should think about talking about it...I might listen."

"Not if it was me."

"Actually, if you actually said something like that to me, I'd probably listen...because you don't go that route very often."

Tim smiled. "You're really getting desperate, aren't you."

Tony suddenly became serious. "No, I'm not, but I think you are, Tim."

Tim sighed again.

"Are you going to try to tell me that what I'm feeling is normal?"

"No."

Tim was surprised into laughing.

"Thanks."

"Just trying to help."

"I know." Tim looked at his leg again. "Somehow, I think my leg is going to heal more easily than my head."

"I don't know. I think if you stop pretending that it's all okay, you'd probably be better off."

"And how do I do that?"

"Well...for tonight, you could stay at my place."

"I'd rather sleep on a bed."

"You can sleep on a bed."

"I'm not taking your bed."

"You will if you let me help you out for a night. Are you going to pretend that you wouldn't prefer it?"

Tim couldn't and he knew Tony knew that, too.

"No, I can't."

"So?"

"I'm already lying down. It'd be easier to stay where I am. I hate using these crutches. It's so hard."

"You'll be more relaxed at my place, though, right?"

"If you're not willing to sleep on the floor, here..."

"Not a chance."

Tim sighed yet again. He didn't want to stay here alone. He didn't want to go to Tony's place because that would require moving and it was so hard to get around when he wasn't allowed to put _any_ weight on his injured leg.

"I'll pack you some clothes," Tony said.

Tim raised an eyebrow, but then, he couldn't protest.

"Okay."

Tim watched as Tony grabbed some clothes and stuffed them in a bag. Then, Tony put out his hand. Tim looked at it and then, he nodded, knowing that he was agreeing to more than just staying the night at Tony's apartment. This was agreeing that he would do something about this problem that he had hoped would just go away.

Tony helped him up, grabbed his crutches and Tim hobbled back out of his apartment and back to Tony's car.

Tony helped him into his apartment. Tim tried to protest about taking Tony's bed one last time and then gave in.

...and he slept well for the first time in weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Epilogue**

_Three weeks later..._

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

Tony didn't even look up. He was trying to get through a report. Tim had been doing a bit better the last little while, and he was staying at his own place again. He said that it would take time, but he was at least admitting that he'd been having trouble.

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?" Tony asked, still working.

"Could you take me back to the cave?"

Now, he had Tony's full attention.

"What? Why?"

"So it can stop being this black abyss of terror," Tim said with a bit of a smile. "I'd like to be able to look at it as a place an accident happened instead of something that's going to swallow me whole and take over my life."

"Why me?"

"Because you were the one there before."

Tony noticed that, while Tim was acting very nonchalant, he seemed to be extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing...and it had a rehearsed sound to it, meaning that Tim wasn't exactly happy about it, either.

"Your shrink tell you to do this?"

"He might have," Tim said. "When I'm ready."

"And are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"We're off this weekend."

"Yeah, I know."

"That's why you asked now."

"Yeah."

Tony looked at Tim, holding tightly to his crutches. He was supposed to get his cast off in the next week, and he had an X ray scheduled as well.

"You want to prove something, Tim?" Tony asked suddenly.

Tim smiled a little. "To myself...yeah. Not to you. Just to me. ...but I can't drive yet and I'm not taking a taxi out there."

"Okay. I'll take you."

"Thanks."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

_The next morning..._

They pulled up to the cave, and Tony wondered if Tim would be able to manage the small climb. He was still on his crutches after all.

"You going to make it up there, Tim?"

"Yes."

That was all.

Tim started to negotiate his way up the small hill to the cave entrance. It wasn't a long way, but it took about ten minutes and Tim looked tired by the exertion.

"You sure you want to do this now?" Tony asked.

Tim smiled and wiped the sweat off his face.

"You should have asked me before I was all the way up. Too late now."

He crutched into the cave. There was a warning sign about possible hazards and that it was closed to the public. However, they weren't going in very far. Just to the rock pile that was still there. Tim hobbled over to it.

"I stepped on a spot people have probably been stepping over for a hundred years."

"Yep."

"All because I wouldn't wait for you."

"No. It was just bad luck, Tim."

"Odds are that if I had waited for you, I wouldn't have walked in the same place. I would have avoided that little spot. It's common sense."

"Yeah, but just because you didn't wait for me doesn't mean you were fated to trigger the rocks. We weren't planning on going very far in. I was only a few steps behind you. I just was on the other side of the pile after it fell."

Tim sighed.

"I'm still afraid of being alone."

"Maybe you could get Delilah to come back," Tony said with a leer.

Tim raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, okay. I'll be serious. You said you've been feeling better, right?"

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"Okay. Do you feel better seeing where you were?"

Tim took a breath and looked around.

"It hurt so bad," he said. "And I felt stuck where I was. No way to get away from the pain. No way to get out. It was like my worst nightmare. Injun Joe's cave."

"Tom Sawyer again? Come on, Tim."

"I know it sounds stupid. It's a kid's story. It shouldn't be so important...so bad. It was one of the worst nightmares I had when I was young...and I should be over that by now. It's silly until...you're in that situation. Stuck in a cave, no way out. If you had been caught in the rocks, too, how long would it have taken for someone to find us? Days? What would I have been driven to do to get away? People have ripped off their own limbs just to get out of a trap. Would I have got that far? Would I get to the point that I'd be willing to tear off my own leg just to free myself from that rock pile? How long would it take to get that desperate? Gibbs knew where we were, but..." Tim took another shaky breath. "That's what scares me. My shrink is calling it a combination of monophobia and sedatophobia."

"They sound made up."

Tony was relieved when Tim smiled.

"Yeah, they do, don't they. Basically, my reaction to a traumatic event was to be afraid of the worst things that happened...and it wasn't the pain, although that helped. It was being alone...in the silence. That dark, empty silence." Tim closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You weren't," Tony said.

"Huh?" Tim looked at him.

"You weren't alone. Well, you were for a little while. I had to run to get help, but other than that, you weren't alone. I was there. Gibbs was there. Ellie was there. The police were there. We were just on the other side, just a few feet away. Just because you couldn't see us, doesn't mean we weren't there. You weren't alone."

Tim smiled a little ruefully.

"Maybe that will help...eventually."

"Doesn't help now?"

"Not really, but I'm working on it, Tony."

"Good. Now, do you want to stay here any longer?"

"Not really."

"Then, let's go. I'll help you down the hill."

"Thanks. For everything."

"My pleasure."

They headed down. It took longer than it had taken to go up...but they made it back to the car.

"It's going to be fine, Tim."

"Eventually."

"Yeah. Eventually."

Tim nodded.

"Thanks, Tony."

"And you need to get off those crutches and back to work full-time. I need more of a buffer than Ellie can give."

Tim laughed.

"Tell that to my doctor. He's the one being so conservative about it."

"I'll do that. In fact, I'll take you to your X ray."

"You don't have to."

"I'll do it anyway."

Tim didn't say thanks again, but he clearly meant it. He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes, looking a little more relaxed than he had been.

"And one more thing, Tim."

Tim looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"If you need it, you never have to be alone. Just ask and someone will be there."

"I know."

"Then, do it."

Tim smiled.

"I will."

"Good. Let's go, then."

"Home, James."

Tim closed his eyes again and Tony drove them back to DC.

FINIS!


End file.
